Assalamualaikum

Hi. My name is Mardhiyyah Rosli. I am 26 years old. I am born and live at Kuala Lumpur. You can call me Mya or Diya. I've spent my whole life in here minus 5 years because of studies. I might be a Kuala Lumpur kids. But I failed in understand this country's road. It might because I don't have any car licenses. 

I have been studied at SK Bandar Tun Razak (1) and SK Bandar Tun Razak (2) for 7 years including special years. Then, I continued my high school at SMK Bandar Tun Razak in Science Stream. I never thought to find a temporary job while waiting for SPM results. The only thing I do is take 2 extra classes such as English language and Computer class to spend my free time. 

Before SPM results are out, I have been pushed by my family to take a car license. But I'm so scared. Many things are going through my mind. 2 months after SPM results are out, I have been offered to further study in the Diploma of Computer Science at UiTM Machang, Kelantan. It might be far but chances to be admitted for IPTA is 10 of 100. My parents are kinda worried about it. Kelantan is far that takes 8 hours of travelling. It supposed to be 8 but if the holiday season comes, it takes longer than that. Depends on how you drive.

But before that, 2 weeks before orientation. I got the chicken pox. You know, 2 weeks. In these 2 weeks, I've been laying down at the bed and in the meantime, I completed all the forms given for admission. At least, I don't have the chicken pox while I'm studying. The thing that we always do when medical check-up is an x-ray. But the administration of campus never kept the x-ray. The only thing they took is completed medical form. What a waste of money. Can you imagine? If you got admitted to studies 3 times, it means you need to do an x-ray also 3 times. But campus never took it at all. X-Ray costs may be RM 35. You time it with 3, you need to pay RM 105. That's a lot of money for a student. Anyway.

For the first time in forever, I left the house for studies. It's quite sad to be apart from your family. You live with them for 17 years and you need to be independent on your own. At UiTM Machang, I admit that the majority of students are Kelantanese itself. At first, I'm a little bit shy to interact with them. But they are the one that interacts with me. Started with orientation, every interaction with girlfriends that I have is begun from a bedroom. They are friendly and kind. They even invited me to their houses. 

They are the one that takes me to hangouts around Kelantan. I have been to many places in Kelantan such as Pantai Cahaya Bulan, Rantau Panjang, Pasar Siti Khadijah, Jeli, Kuala Krai, Kota Bharu and Machang itself. I went to all this with my friends. We even have a food gathering and class trip before exams begin. I even have good and bad times during studies.

I spent my studies here for 2 and a half years before furthering degree in 2014.

On the year 2014, I got to advanced my studies at UiTM Jasin, Melaka. I continued my studies on Bachelor of Computer Science. Most of the students here are someone new and someone I know. We are the first batch on UiTM Jasin. UiTM Jasin is a new campus that year. We are the first one that launched the campus. 

Friends here are friendly and okay. Firstly, we got to live in the dorm. Just for a few months actually. Then, I have to move out where I have to rent a house outside the campus. It's not even near. The campus is inside a village. While my rental house is in another town. Can you imagine living outside far from campus without transportation?  For the first year, yeah I got backed up. But after that, my whole life is miserable.

The final year is miserable and hope in friends are gone. I don't trust them anymore. I don't know what is wrong. But they are avoiding me. I am a loner, I want to be friends. But they are the one that left me behind. Thank you for those who think that I am still their friends. And thank you for someone that lets me ride their car to went to class. 

I got lessons while studying. Don't trust and follow friends too much. It affects you a lot. You should decide what good and bad to yourself. If your decisions stuck, find someone professional to help you. You can ask for your friends but after deciding everything. By the way, my studies are stuck in the middle of the way.

I got depression because of friends and project. When I got this symptom, my friends are slowly moving far away from me. I am struggling with my big projects. I don't know which person that can help me actually. I lose friends, trusts and studies. Because of my emotion unstable, I give up and quits. It's very frustrating. But it even more frustrated when you lose friends and hope. Maybe it is not my day to achieve a degree right now.

That's happened 3 years ago, what I do now is working to pay all my study loans. I don't want to trouble anyone in order to make up my mistakes. You know what, I am a student right now. I took Tahmid and Tajwid class every Tuesday night. I learn hijaiyah letter started from the basics. My classmates have all ranges of ages. Even my ustaz is younger than me. He is so funny.

The class is fun and interesting. I might regret what happened in my degree year. But I don't regret anything that happened right now. I love my life, my family, and my work. I have gone many challenges through all these 3 years. More difficult than my studies. I still have troubling in trusting people. But thanks to that, I tried to understand and trust myself first before others. Right now, I have a lot of friends even though we are not so close. 

That's all story about my student life. I just want to share what I do and what I experienced as a student. It might be challenging but it gives you time to understand and believe in yourself. Do you want to know more? Wait for the next entry. Okay?

Lots of love,

Mardhiyyah Rosli