Assalamualaikum,

I know that every person in this world has their destiny partner. But in finding the right person, we need to look out for it and know them for the better future. I didn't blame fate for everything that happened in my life. As a woman, I also need a feeling of affection and attention from someone I love. Somehow all of my imagination or even reality doesn't come out well. I'm not too picky about how the appearance, popularity or even property. Still, they choose someone based on the three aspects that I don't really care about. I know that I'm a taller girl that you've never seen before. But you don't have to broke my heart by saying "I prefer a woman that shorter than me and looks cute." Just say I don't like you openly.

I know love has a lot of meaning. Love for family, friends and special ones. But this post is truly more to love for special ones. I don't ask for forgiveness or sympathize with people. I just want to express my heartbroken feeling. That's all.

In fact, I write this post due to not the term 'jealousy'. It just a feeling that I want to be with someone special when I see most of my friends were married to their fated ones. They are having someone that they can share their all problems with. Being there beside you whether being happy or not. I know I have Allah to seek forgiveness and help in cherish every moment. This is real world where harshness and negative thoughts are spreading widely.

There are always people that will tease and make fun of you. I have trouble in understanding and trust in people called men. I'm not a good talker. I hardly to talk to someone that I just know. Because I don't trust people. I have been left for no reason. I have been backstabbed by my own friends. The reality is I don't trust anyone. Maybe that's why people never go near me. They think I don't want to friend with them. I'm not cocky but more to complex personality.

Got to go. I will continue more tomorrow.

p/s:  Love is sweet like candy, but once it crashed. It can't be shaped anymore. Don't think that any heart in this world can be playing off for fun.